One Thousand Fears

In One Thousand Fears, Ineke Neutel has transformed a legacy of fear into a gift of thoughtful reflection for others to ponder.

Christian Courier, June 3, 2024

In this compelling narrative, a Christian pastor grapples with adversity while fulfilling his divine calling. Set against the backdrop of World War II, the author draws from personal recollections, family records, interviews, and historical sources to vividly depict her father’s challenges and perils as a pastor in the Reformed Church of the Netherlands in Nijmegen. Her work presents an authentic and well-crafted account of the months and years of fear in the lives of the pastor and his family.

The pastor faced an almost superhuman task: providing solace and encouragement to his congregation while living under the constant threat of arrest—whether as a hostage in reprisal for resistance activities, or due to his own anti-Nazi stance. Weekly, he had to deliver sermons that uplifted and fortified his congregation while concealing his anti-Nazi views from the Nazi informers in the audience.

He encouraged the church's Men Society who were distributing illegal newspapers and collecting funds to support the families of men arrested or in hiding.

Finally, the unthinkable happened - one by one, members of the Men Society were arrested. The atmosphere of fear and terror increased - when shall this end? At last, liberation from the Nazis was won, but only after fierce battles between Allied and German armies. Although the liberation was much desired, the results were catastrophic for the city. Much of the city's historic inner city was destroyed, and the bombs, artillery shells, and bullets killed thousands of people, civilian and military.

Fear had been our daily emotion for many months – fear of bombs and artillery shells, fear of arrest, fear of a shortage of food, fear of pain, fear of death. The mere survival of every member of our family was a miracle.